Friday, February 15, 2013
Today was less stressful, we did very chill stuff with the kids and parents came to get them earlier than usual. I just felt completely drained from the day before though. I overslept and woke up with no voice. Even when I got up I just stared into space for like five minutes. I spent a fair portion of my day coloring though, and there's something awesome about knowing that you're getting paid to color. But this list gave me a serious laugh-til-I-cry moment today, which is always always welcome in my life. So I shared it. With you. Because I love you and I know you could use a belly laugh.
Monday, February 11, 2013
The last part was one of the only good things that came out of this clusterfuck. I thought a lot about how much I've been getting sick and how I've basically stopped taking care of myself. I put back on all the weight I lost in the past, I've been eating the crappiest food, and I haven't exercised in a month of Sundays. The result is that I'm worn down and stressed out all the time. Being fat feels awful all by itself, but having no energy and getting a cold every few weeks is even worse. So maybe this is rock-bottom for me. Maybe eating so little for a few days will help me jump start the process. I'm not going to do anything drastic, I'm just going to start tracking my food again and keep to the number of calories I'd need to maintain my goal weight. I'm also trying to talk Justin into getting a gym membership to a better gym so that I can take up lifting again because I think that made me feel the best. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully I can convince him and we'll turn into endorphin addicts together.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
I've read a few places that one of the most important parts of being happy is nurturing relationships. Friendships are key to our well-being. Well, I feel like that's not one of my strong suits.
Maybe facebook is making me feel this way, but it seems like I've known so many people and I've been friends with a good number of them, but right now I feel as though I have very very few people in my life that I would really call friends. Those people that I do call friends have busier lives than I do and I often find myself looking for social time and having no one to spend it with. Part of the problem is having moved away from home base, but I think a lot of it is a failing on my part to really nurture my relationships.
This year is going to be a year of change and I want to make one of the biggest changes here. I've already tried to begin by making an effort to communicate on a regular basis with my siblings. I've also joined some meetup groups in an effort to make new friends near where I live. Now those efforts must be doubled. I'm reluctant to make big statements and declarations about my intentions, but I want to feel much more connected to other people by this time next year. That's something that will make me smile.
Monday, January 28, 2013
I love Pinterest because every now and then I'll go looking for something I pinned a while ago and I'll get distracted by all the other stuff I pinned. Then I'll forget that I'm looking at one of my own boards and I'll be all like "Pinterest is awesome today!" Then I'll remember I'm looking at my own board and it makes me feel awesome because I have great taste. Ha. So, nonexistent people reading this, you should follow me on Pinterest!
Also, today I put a kid in time out and she was sad about it all day. I asked her if she was mad at me or herself and she said herself. So I got extra cuddles today from her because she was looking for comfort and from all the other kids because they were jealous of her cuddles.
Other things that made me smile today: hearing my co-teacher praising my ideas to someone else, sulfate-free shampoo, having a chipotle right up the street, having a sweet boyfriend who went to get that food from said Chipotle, this Buzzfeed list, and singing Les Mis in the shower. If you haven't seen the movie yet, do it. It's so great.
Last but not least, this. The bangingest baby blanket ever. That I made. With my own two hands. And am inordinately jazzed about.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
It's 4 am and my boyfriend is asleep. We've kind of had a hard week. He's been miserable since Tuesday because of a mystery pain in his chest and back and I've been stressed out because I was worried that something was wrong with him that would cause lasting damage. Today had a nerve-racking start because a rash developed overnight and we had to figure out what to do. I barely feel like an adult on my best days, but faced with a health issue that might be an emergency makes me feel like I don't know any better than the three-year-olds I work with. We ended up going to an urgent care facility where he was diagnosed with shingles, then driving around to a few different Walgreens looking for one that had his prescription in stock. The rest of the day was spent in kind of a funk. He was tired and in pain, I felt kind of drained from the ordeal that turned out not to be so bad, so I also felt bad that I was being weird for basically no reason. So accomplishing something for myself today felt imperative. I feel proud that I finished the blanket, but I still feel empty. Maybe I'll go cuddle my man and I'll feel better in the morning.
This week I'm going to try to bring my laptop to work so I can blog during lunch and do a better job of documenting my year of outrageous happiness. I'm also going to go on the South Beach diet so I need to plan and cook for the week tomorrow.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
if I have nothing positive to say? I've done enough complaining for a lifetime. I'd rather not start a trend of doing it here. Today has really been a bad day for me, so I'm having a hard time remembering all the moments that have made me smile over the past few days.
The highlights include: taking time to make each kid in my class laugh, having a real conversation with a coworker, making another coworker smile by giving her a gift, making my boyfriend happy, and a three-year-old in my class saying "I love you Miss Lauren!"
I want to have something more deep to say on Monday. I'll let you know.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Why does the bad seem to outweigh the good? Is it my perspective? Does it matter whether it's true or not, if that's how I see my life? Why do some people just naturally have a cheerful disposition and I have to work so hard at it?
So, what does it mean to be happy? I feel like there have always been moments of happiness that happened over the course of my lifetime, but they get blotted out by the misery and sadness. I'm going to work over the next year on trying to fill in the blanks for happiness in the following areas of my life:
Happiness at work is...
Happiness at home is when...
Happiness in my relationship looks like...
Happiness with my self-image means that...
Happiness with my friends involves...
This isn't, by any means, an exhaustive list, but things for me to ponder as the year goes on. Today has been good so far. Some of the things that made me happy (or brightened my mood) today are:
1. Getting to work on time.
2. Receiving a humorous email from a co-worker.
3. Observing coworkers engaged in an intense conversation while listening to Phil Collins' "Sussudio."
4. Working collaboratively with school personnel at a particularly challenging school.
5. Having more than 11 hours to engage in more moments of happiness. Now that's exciting!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I'm staying positive today despite having to be back at work. I'm not going to be stressed about work anymore. I'm going to go to work, do my job, and go home. No more of this work-defines-who-I-am mindset. It pays the bills and for now that has to be good enough.
So, some highlights for this outrageous year:
January: Trip to the Bahamas
February: NYC weekend
March: Marine Corps 17.75K race
May: 1/2 marathon
Summer: Tubing with Lauren and Justin, marathon training, and more TBD
October: Marine Corps Marathon or Philadelphia Marathon
I'll report on these as they happen. Here's to a new, more happier me in 2013!