Not Much To Say

Yesterday was harried at work. Preparing a preschool Valentine's day party for 18 is more stressful than I had prepared for and then it becomes even more so when a child vomits onto the table in the middle of it. It also stressed me out that some of the kids' parents decided to drop off boxes of unaddressed valentine's day cards which I then felt obligated to fill out. Some of them didn't even bring enough. Like, don't be half-assed about your kid's stuff! I did get some really sweet valentines and chocolates and even some flowers from my kids! That put a smile on my face. I had a really nice evening with Justin and he bought a new bed frame for us which I've been wanting for a while, but I ended up helping to construct it before I could lie down.

Today was less stressful, we did very chill stuff with the kids and parents came to get them earlier than usual. I just felt completely drained from the day before though. I overslept and woke up with no voice. Even when I got up I just stared into space for like five minutes. I spent a fair portion of my day coloring though, and there's something awesome about knowing that you're getting paid to color. But this list gave me a serious laugh-til-I-cry moment today, which is always always welcome in my life. So I shared it. With you. Because I love you and I know you could use a belly laugh.

Recentering

So, this has not been a great weekend for me. I was supposed to be in Phoenix visiting a friend for her baby shower. Thursday night I got a notice saying that my flight out had been canceled. After a long time on hold and a conversation with a very nice representative from Jet Blue, my trip was completely dead. To top that off, I got a stomach bug that night and my plans to spend the rest of the weekend in a drunken stupor having fun with my man were ruined as well. I ended up lying around sleeping, tending to my poor stomach, and thinking about ways I need to change my life.

The last part was one of the only good things that came out of this clusterfuck. I thought a lot about how much I've been getting sick and how I've basically stopped taking care of myself. I put back on all the weight I lost in the past, I've been eating the crappiest food, and I haven't exercised in a month of Sundays. The result is that I'm worn down and stressed out all the time. Being fat feels awful all by itself, but having no energy and getting a cold every few weeks is even worse. So maybe this is rock-bottom for me. Maybe eating so little for a few days will help me jump start the process. I'm not going to do anything drastic, I'm just going to start tracking my food again and keep to the number of calories I'd need to maintain my goal weight. I'm also trying to talk Justin into getting a gym membership to a better gym so that I can take up lifting again because I think that made me feel the best. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully I can convince him and we'll turn into endorphin addicts together.

Happiness Is Work

And I'm willing to do it. A big part of it is changing the way I think and that's not going to be easy after 30 years of thinking the same way, but I'm going to try. And I'm going to start with the 7-Day Happiness Challenge It only took a few minutes to read that link, it's interesting and worth a try. It's hard work to change the way you think, and I'm going to give it a shot when I get back from Arizona next week.