So, this has not been a great weekend for me. I was supposed to be in Phoenix visiting a friend for her baby shower. Thursday night I got a notice saying that my flight out had been canceled. After a long time on hold and a conversation with a very nice representative from Jet Blue, my trip was completely dead. To top that off, I got a stomach bug that night and my plans to spend the rest of the weekend in a drunken stupor having fun with my man were ruined as well. I ended up lying around sleeping, tending to my poor stomach, and thinking about ways I need to change my life.
The last part was one of the only good things that came out of this clusterfuck. I thought a lot about how much I've been getting sick and how I've basically stopped taking care of myself. I put back on all the weight I lost in the past, I've been eating the crappiest food, and I haven't exercised in a month of Sundays. The result is that I'm worn down and stressed out all the time. Being fat feels awful all by itself, but having no energy and getting a cold every few weeks is even worse. So maybe this is rock-bottom for me. Maybe eating so little for a few days will help me jump start the process. I'm not going to do anything drastic, I'm just going to start tracking my food again and keep to the number of calories I'd need to maintain my goal weight. I'm also trying to talk Justin into getting a gym membership to a better gym so that I can take up lifting again because I think that made me feel the best. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully I can convince him and we'll turn into endorphin addicts together.