Thursday, January 31, 2013

One Is Silver and the Other's Gold

I've read a few places that one of the most important parts of being happy is nurturing relationships. Friendships are key to our well-being. Well, I feel like that's not one of my strong suits.

Maybe facebook is making me feel this way, but it seems like I've known so many people and I've  been friends with a good number of them, but right now I feel as though I have very very few people in my life that I would really call friends. Those people that I do call friends have busier lives than I do and I often find myself looking for social time and having no one to spend it with. Part of the problem is having moved away from home base, but I think a lot of it is a failing on my part to really nurture my relationships.

This year is going to be a year of change and I want to make one of the biggest changes here. I've already tried to begin by making an effort to communicate on a regular basis with my siblings. I've also joined some meetup groups in an effort to make new friends near where I live.  Now those efforts must be doubled.  I'm reluctant to make big statements and declarations about my intentions, but I want to feel much more connected to other people by this time next year. That's something that will make me smile.

Monday, January 28, 2013

The Little Things

I love Pinterest because every now and then I'll go looking for something I pinned a while ago and I'll get distracted by all the other stuff I pinned. Then I'll forget that I'm looking at one of my own boards and I'll be all like "Pinterest is awesome today!" Then I'll remember I'm looking at my own board and it makes me feel awesome because I have great taste. Ha. So, nonexistent people reading this, you should follow me on Pinterest!

Also, today I put a kid in time out and she was sad about it all day. I asked her if she was mad at me or herself and she said herself. So I got extra cuddles today from her because she was looking for comfort and from all the other kids because they were jealous of her cuddles.

Other things that made me smile today: hearing my co-teacher praising my ideas to someone else, sulfate-free shampoo, having a chipotle right up the street, having a sweet boyfriend who went to get that food from said Chipotle, this Buzzfeed list, and singing Les Mis in the shower. If you haven't seen the movie yet, do it. It's so great.

Last but not least, this. The bangingest baby blanket ever. That I made. With my own two hands. And am inordinately jazzed about.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Late Night Ramblings

I just finished everything but the last touches on an awesome baby blanket. It has a tetris theme. It was a pain to make in a lot of ways from dealing with seven balls of yarn at once to picking up 400 stitches for the border. Hopefully I'll get a chance to post a picture of it soon because you deserve to see it.

It's 4 am and my boyfriend is asleep. We've kind of had a hard week. He's been miserable since Tuesday because of a mystery pain in his chest and back and I've been stressed out because I was worried that something was wrong with him that would cause lasting damage. Today had a nerve-racking start because a rash developed overnight and we had to figure out what to do. I barely feel like an adult on my best days, but faced with a health issue that might be an emergency makes me feel like I don't know any better than the three-year-olds I work with. We ended up going to an urgent care facility where he was diagnosed with shingles, then driving around to a few different Walgreens looking for one that had his prescription in stock. The rest of the day was spent in kind of a funk. He was tired and in pain, I felt kind of drained from the ordeal that turned out not to be so bad, so I also felt bad that I was being weird for basically no reason. So accomplishing something for myself today felt imperative. I feel proud that I finished the blanket, but I still feel empty. Maybe I'll go cuddle my man and I'll feel better in the morning.

This week I'm going to try to bring my laptop to work so I can blog during lunch and do a better job of documenting my year of outrageous happiness. I'm also going to go on the South Beach diet so I need to plan and cook for the week tomorrow.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Is It Really A Post...

if I have nothing positive to say? I've done enough complaining for a lifetime. I'd rather not start a trend of doing it here. Today has really been a bad day for me, so I'm having a hard time remembering all the moments that have made me smile over the past few days.

The highlights include: taking time to make each kid in my class laugh, having a real conversation with a coworker, making another coworker smile by giving her a gift, making my boyfriend happy, and a three-year-old in my class saying "I love you Miss Lauren!"

I want to have something more deep to say on Monday. I'll let you know.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Can a Year of Happiness Have Sad Moments Too?

I'm under no delusions that a year of attempting outrageous happiness will also include moments that are sad, discouraging, depressing, or exhausting. As I listen to the Pandora 80s station (which I so frequently do since losing my brother last summer, he loved the 80s), I sometimes reminisce about the ways things used to be when I was younger and how life is a series of moments that collect over time. Those collections of memories through the years have been wrought with pain, sadness, loss, and mostly depression, but there have also been collections of fun, exciting, exhilarating, daring, and loving moments in there as well.

Why does the bad seem to outweigh the good? Is it my perspective? Does it matter whether it's true or not, if that's how I see my life? Why do some people just naturally have a cheerful disposition and I have to work so hard at it?

So, what does it mean to be happy? I feel like there have always been moments of happiness that happened over the course of my lifetime, but they get blotted out by the misery and sadness. I'm going to work over the next year on trying to fill in the blanks for happiness in the following areas of my life:

Happiness at work is...
Happiness at home is when...
Happiness in my relationship looks like...
Happiness with my self-image means that...
Happiness with my friends involves...

This isn't, by any means, an exhaustive list, but things for me to ponder as the year goes on. Today has been good so far. Some of the things that made me happy (or brightened my mood) today are:

1. Getting to work on time.
2. Receiving a humorous email from a co-worker.
3. Observing coworkers engaged in an intense conversation while listening to Phil Collins' "Sussudio."
4. Working collaboratively with school personnel at a particularly challenging school.
5. Having more than 11 hours to engage in more moments of happiness. Now that's exciting!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

It's Easy to Be Happy When Work Isn't Involved

So, today is the true test of outrageous happiness because I'm back to work. I had a wonderful start to my new year yesterday. I spent the day drinking with my best friend, Lauren, who is attempting the outrageous year of happiness with me. She, her boyfriend, and my husband had me in tears of laughter as we watched our way through horrible American television. We watched wonderful titles that included "Mud Lovin' Rednecks" and "Honey Boo Boo." It's really fun to watch rednecks on television and poke fun at them. It was a genuinely delightful afternoon. This site had me in stitches and I nearly burst into laughter when I looked at it:

I'm staying positive today despite having to be back at work. I'm not going to be stressed about work anymore. I'm going to go to work, do my job, and go home. No more of this work-defines-who-I-am mindset. It pays the bills and for now that has to be good enough.

So, some highlights for this outrageous year:

January: Trip to the Bahamas
February: NYC weekend
March: Marine Corps 17.75K race
April: TBD
May: 1/2 marathon
Summer: Tubing with Lauren and Justin, marathon training, and more TBD
October: Marine Corps Marathon or Philadelphia Marathon

I'll report on these as they happen. Here's to a new, more happier me in 2013!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Mission Statement

A little background. Angela and I have been sad for far too long. Depressed. Focused on the negative. Just unhappy. This is the year that we change all of that. 2013 is going to be the year that we change our minds and our lives. I'm going to learn to sew. Angela is going to run a marathon. But neither of us is going to beat ourselves up if we don't. This is the year that we learn to be happy with what we have while reaching for our goals. We learn to love life. We make memories. We do new things. But mostly, and most importantly, we are happy. And we document it.