Not Much To Say

Yesterday was harried at work. Preparing a preschool Valentine's day party for 18 is more stressful than I had prepared for and then it becomes even more so when a child vomits onto the table in the middle of it. It also stressed me out that some of the kids' parents decided to drop off boxes of unaddressed valentine's day cards which I then felt obligated to fill out. Some of them didn't even bring enough. Like, don't be half-assed about your kid's stuff! I did get some really sweet valentines and chocolates and even some flowers from my kids! That put a smile on my face. I had a really nice evening with Justin and he bought a new bed frame for us which I've been wanting for a while, but I ended up helping to construct it before I could lie down.

Today was less stressful, we did very chill stuff with the kids and parents came to get them earlier than usual. I just felt completely drained from the day before though. I overslept and woke up with no voice. Even when I got up I just stared into space for like five minutes. I spent a fair portion of my day coloring though, and there's something awesome about knowing that you're getting paid to color. But this list gave me a serious laugh-til-I-cry moment today, which is always always welcome in my life. So I shared it. With you. Because I love you and I know you could use a belly laugh.

Recentering

So, this has not been a great weekend for me. I was supposed to be in Phoenix visiting a friend for her baby shower. Thursday night I got a notice saying that my flight out had been canceled. After a long time on hold and a conversation with a very nice representative from Jet Blue, my trip was completely dead. To top that off, I got a stomach bug that night and my plans to spend the rest of the weekend in a drunken stupor having fun with my man were ruined as well. I ended up lying around sleeping, tending to my poor stomach, and thinking about ways I need to change my life.

The last part was one of the only good things that came out of this clusterfuck. I thought a lot about how much I've been getting sick and how I've basically stopped taking care of myself. I put back on all the weight I lost in the past, I've been eating the crappiest food, and I haven't exercised in a month of Sundays. The result is that I'm worn down and stressed out all the time. Being fat feels awful all by itself, but having no energy and getting a cold every few weeks is even worse. So maybe this is rock-bottom for me. Maybe eating so little for a few days will help me jump start the process. I'm not going to do anything drastic, I'm just going to start tracking my food again and keep to the number of calories I'd need to maintain my goal weight. I'm also trying to talk Justin into getting a gym membership to a better gym so that I can take up lifting again because I think that made me feel the best. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully I can convince him and we'll turn into endorphin addicts together.

Happiness Is Work

And I'm willing to do it. A big part of it is changing the way I think and that's not going to be easy after 30 years of thinking the same way, but I'm going to try. And I'm going to start with the 7-Day Happiness Challenge It only took a few minutes to read that link, it's interesting and worth a try. It's hard work to change the way you think, and I'm going to give it a shot when I get back from Arizona next week. 

One Is Silver and the Other's Gold

I've read a few places that one of the most important parts of being happy is nurturing relationships. Friendships are key to our well-being. Well, I feel like that's not one of my strong suits.

Maybe facebook is making me feel this way, but it seems like I've known so many people and I've  been friends with a good number of them, but right now I feel as though I have very very few people in my life that I would really call friends. Those people that I do call friends have busier lives than I do and I often find myself looking for social time and having no one to spend it with. Part of the problem is having moved away from home base, but I think a lot of it is a failing on my part to really nurture my relationships.

This year is going to be a year of change and I want to make one of the biggest changes here. I've already tried to begin by making an effort to communicate on a regular basis with my siblings. I've also joined some meetup groups in an effort to make new friends near where I live.  Now those efforts must be doubled.  I'm reluctant to make big statements and declarations about my intentions, but I want to feel much more connected to other people by this time next year. That's something that will make me smile.

The Little Things

I love Pinterest because every now and then I'll go looking for something I pinned a while ago and I'll get distracted by all the other stuff I pinned. Then I'll forget that I'm looking at one of my own boards and I'll be all like "Pinterest is awesome today!" Then I'll remember I'm looking at my own board and it makes me feel awesome because I have great taste. Ha. So, nonexistent people reading this, you should follow me on Pinterest!

Also, today I put a kid in time out and she was sad about it all day. I asked her if she was mad at me or herself and she said herself. So I got extra cuddles today from her because she was looking for comfort and from all the other kids because they were jealous of her cuddles.

Other things that made me smile today: hearing my co-teacher praising my ideas to someone else, sulfate-free shampoo, having a chipotle right up the street, having a sweet boyfriend who went to get that food from said Chipotle, this Buzzfeed list, and singing Les Mis in the shower. If you haven't seen the movie yet, do it. It's so great.

Last but not least, this. The bangingest baby blanket ever. That I made. With my own two hands. And am inordinately jazzed about.

Late Night Ramblings

I just finished everything but the last touches on an awesome baby blanket. It has a tetris theme. It was a pain to make in a lot of ways from dealing with seven balls of yarn at once to picking up 400 stitches for the border. Hopefully I'll get a chance to post a picture of it soon because you deserve to see it.

It's 4 am and my boyfriend is asleep. We've kind of had a hard week. He's been miserable since Tuesday because of a mystery pain in his chest and back and I've been stressed out because I was worried that something was wrong with him that would cause lasting damage. Today had a nerve-racking start because a rash developed overnight and we had to figure out what to do. I barely feel like an adult on my best days, but faced with a health issue that might be an emergency makes me feel like I don't know any better than the three-year-olds I work with. We ended up going to an urgent care facility where he was diagnosed with shingles, then driving around to a few different Walgreens looking for one that had his prescription in stock. The rest of the day was spent in kind of a funk. He was tired and in pain, I felt kind of drained from the ordeal that turned out not to be so bad, so I also felt bad that I was being weird for basically no reason. So accomplishing something for myself today felt imperative. I feel proud that I finished the blanket, but I still feel empty. Maybe I'll go cuddle my man and I'll feel better in the morning.

This week I'm going to try to bring my laptop to work so I can blog during lunch and do a better job of documenting my year of outrageous happiness. I'm also going to go on the South Beach diet so I need to plan and cook for the week tomorrow.

Is It Really A Post...

if I have nothing positive to say? I've done enough complaining for a lifetime. I'd rather not start a trend of doing it here. Today has really been a bad day for me, so I'm having a hard time remembering all the moments that have made me smile over the past few days.

The highlights include: taking time to make each kid in my class laugh, having a real conversation with a coworker, making another coworker smile by giving her a gift, making my boyfriend happy, and a three-year-old in my class saying "I love you Miss Lauren!"

I want to have something more deep to say on Monday. I'll let you know.